Paranoia, Drama and Sunburnt Skins...

Hmm... Yes I know I haven't been updating my blog for a long time. Seriously speaking, am tired of updating stuffs. It's just that the recent things that has happened lately just made me wanna say out...

Today, we had sandcastle building at Sentosa. Almost 2-3 hours of Sunburnt activities, We managed to win three Green Mentos. Yay! Which I kinda took home with me and forgot to distribute to the guys. SOH-RHE! I shall distribute them on Monday, K?

Watched Bounty Hunter. It was slow but WHO CARES! Gerard Butler was in it!! He was hawt... a little chubby but NO MATTER... I love his chubbiness... Half naked... in towel... Erk... okay... Nvm...

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*sudden emo change*

Hmm... another thing I wanna say is...

I HATE DRAMA. And also controversies... who doesn't?

Firstly, Blogs and Facebook are not really the good way of solving shits... If you have something to say, say it straight in the face. I do it, so I can say this... And updating personal vendetta or hatred or whatever reasons of shits online... it's just plain childish. Am speaking of two beloved people whose names am never gonna say but you know who you are.

Let's call them... Papi and Pupi...

To Papi, we have agreed no more stories, no more drama... So why still bother about Pupi? Why still show your anger and hatred or whatever it is you are calling this "sudden emotion change" a lot? We talk to Pupi... We have reasonable conversations, have civilized talks and all that... But seriously, is that really not good enough for you? Civilization... that is in your dictionary right? If not, learn it...

Pupi, we have no more qualms about you. True, things of the past are still the main stories... but we know you're changing. Though seriously, do you really think what we think really matters? What we want is for you to change slowly... so that you can be ready for the world out there. You may have seen half the world, you haven't seen the other half. If the six of us are already complaining about "your habit" ehem... Do you really think the other millions of people around the world would beg to differ the thoughts of ours?

And seriously, Papi... Pupi... this never ending "online fights" shall lead to an abysmal fate. You really want that? Do you really want so for the next two years? I shall say, good luck. Maybe I should sit you both down and have a little chat. It's useless talking to one person while I have another convo with the other... and NOTHING is working out. K?

Aaj ki Din... (Today)

Well, nothing much happened today. Although something did happen a few days back. I lost my phone...

*suspense movie theme song*

I know... it's lame but seriously... I LOST MY SONY ERICSSON PHONE....

Had a lot of stuffs in it. My designs, my scripts, fanfics... songs, pictures... ARRRRGH!!!!

Damn you whoever took my phone. Damn you till YOU'RE DEAD!

Anyways, today... Nicol came to school but she lost her voice... only the first part of school, then suddenly AMAZING She had her voice back... *shakes fist*

But we had fun playing charades. Somewhere along the road, Jack Sparrow came up. YAY, I love you Jack Sparrow!

Well, my members say that I love older, hairy men... that's not true. Zachary Quinto, Bradley Cooper, Johnny Depp, Antonio Banderas, Gerard Butler, David Thewlis, Gary Oldman, Alan Rickman, Christopher Wolstenholme, AJ Maclean, Kevin Richardson, Robert Downey Jr and Peter Facinelli... They are NOT Hairy... They are HOT! And great ACTORS!

And please, I'm old... I go for older man, like... duh?... I'm not sixteen anymore. Be your age, be a man. Or woman... I'll say this again... DUUUUH~~~

Anyways, am listening to Queen of the Damned soundtracks... (yes I do listen to such songs)... I'm loving it. No comment.

Okay so... Saw more couples today. In the bus, On the way to school, two couples touching2... In school, two couples called Bimbo and Sharep Dol... In bus on the way home, three couples... giggling, smiling... Teasing...

Sigh...

I'll say a weird ass poem alright? I MADE IT... So Trademark... lawl!

There's a hollow part in me,
right between my ribs...
It's so empty that I feel like exploding.
It's dark and lifeless without that feeling
but when you do feel it, you feel too much.
Too much pain, too much emotions, too much love...
It's just too much.
But when it's gone... you miss it. Miss it a lot.
Why is that so?
I want it back.
That feeling...
That fills me, in me...
Fills the hollow part in me,
right between my ribs.
Like what Romeo said...
"These violent delights have violent ends."
It's true... tis true...
How I wish it weren't.

Blubbered...

For starters, I HAVE A TAGBOARD! Now go spam it, you spammers!

Okay so...

Don't know why but today, I was reminded of the time I use to have a crush on someone a long way back. Seeing couples everywhere around me makes me feel more alone than ever, not that I have something against them. It's just that it pains me to see people out there be happy with their significant other and yet I'm here still, watching them like a voyeur.

Ahaha... I know I'm being a sentimental maudlin old fool but I can't help it. For those who are going like "NO, NO BOYFRIENDS! NEVER GET ONE AT ALL!" Please do know or remember, I've never been with anyone at all and I have the right to be emo about this. Lawl.

What I really wish to have... to have someone by me when I'm down. To be able to hug that someone and just be childish about it. To be able to shower my love and care to. To argue with him over small things (Yes I want this... so?) and make up after that. To be able to tease each other and make fun of each other. To spoil and fuss about when he is down or sick.

Though all of this may never be true... I have the right to wish, right? Hope is something I never had for quite a long time since I lost Hope in anything good that will ever happen to me... but for once... Just once... If only Hope is listening to me amongst all the few hundred millions of people... I wish to be happy... for once. Just be happy with who I'll be with, be happy with my family... be happy being what I am... Because knowing too much is never a good thing and for me... I know too much. And one day, it will bring me down.

Today...

A conversation between My Dad and I.

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Me: Ba... My ez link card finish already.
Ba: Finish already then want tell people! Should have say earlier right!
Me: ....

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Me: Ba... I need buy paint for school...
Ba: I alreadys ay the other day, buy whole lot together one shot don't want. Now last minute then want buy. Buy this, buy that!
Me: ...

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Me: I don't have H pencil... I want go Popular to buy...
Ba: You already got so many pencils in your bag, right? Want buy some more???
Me: ....

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That's basically like almost half the conversation I've ever had with my Dad. He is so supporting! Yay!

One by One...

Like as if last year wasn't enough... The start of the year, someone passed away. And then last week, an uncle of mine went into hospital for suspect cancer. Now this week, another uncle is in hospital for food poisoning.

I know it's nothing to make a big fuss about but no one can ever know what will happen. You may think it will be all fine and the next you are probably crying over it. I pray hard that nothing bad happens to the family. I just really wish I can change all this. Something good to happen to me... please do...

My Moods...

Yeah well, sorry for the late update. Hmmz... Well talking about moods, the last time in school I had my so-called 'moodswings' was about a few years back... and my so-called then friends knew them well. I have a lot of moods and I kinda keep track on these moods. Thought I might as well list them down here since I'm not sure when they might crop up. Well it did crop up on Friday, when it was raining... pfft! Sorry guys...

Mood Number One - The 'No Mood' Mood.
What is it- I'll be feeling all... neutral. Meaning, I'll be totally normal... like normal as in TOO Normal for my usual self, which is the happy, bubbly... noisy... and all that... If I'm in this mood, I'll be quiet, all smiles but not to the extreme, no jokes, no sense of whatsoever feelings. Anything you do or say will either have no effect on me, or shall make me feel more irritated and annoyed... but not to worry, it's not the most worst of all mood.
How to save yourself - Try not to annoy me and just be yourself. Keep on being weird or whatsoever but try not to make me be pissed off. I won't go back to my usual bubbly self but I'll try my best.

Mood Number Two - The 'Silent Treatment' Mood.
What is it - Just like the title says, Silent Treatment. It's just like the 'No Mood' mood... but worse. I won't talk at all. I won't give any signs or acknowledgment towards you and I will be in a total silent mood. This happens when I'm in my 'seriously trying to work here' phase.
How to save yourself - Avoid pissing me off. Just ignore me like I ignore you. When I'm over this phase, I'll come look for you. *thumbs up*

Mood Number Three - The 'I Told You To Back Off But You Didn't, So Suffer' Mood.
What is it - When you see me frowning with my lips in a pout mode and my eyes in a squint like position, drop everything you're doing and back away slowly. This is known for me to be talking in somewhat silent whispers and trying to avoid all the negativity. Ahaha I remembered once in my other school, a friend of mine told me that she could feel the Negative aura around me when she came close. I don't know what that means but cool! I have that kinda power...
How to save yourself - Remember back on what you might have done or what somewhat else have done and give yourself courage to apologize to me. Just a simple "Sorry" can make me feel a little less threatening.

Mood Number Four - The "F-You Lah!" Mood.
What is it - Me... Pissed off. I won't actually scream out vulgarities but make sure you have a dictionary with you when I start spouting all those big words to humiliate you.
How to save yourself - Run.

Mood Number Five - The "I Give Up" Mood. Try Avoiding this...
What is it - You'll see me cry... but in anger. I'll be in my all four moods and glaring much. Hand balled into fist and tears kinda streaming down my face. This mood only happens twice in my whole life... that was with my mom. Hehe...
How to save yourself - My mom didn't save herself... so I screamed at her... and thoughts of killing and suicide did run into my brain but I give myself some boost and encouragement to stay 'healthy'... somewhat did the trick but My patience has its limit.

I have my happy moods also which I show off almost everyday but for those special few who knows these few moods of mine, they know that my moods tend to react quite well with the weather. Ahahaa... I was known as Storm then, like in X-Men... coz when I get upset or unhappy... the weather starts to change... it will be like hyper windy or stormy... It's just some co-incidence but I like the idea of my moods relating to weather changes. Hehe!

That's all for today I guess...

Second Day of Posting!

Ehem... It's the second day of blog posting and I'm going to take my time typing this so whatever to you.

Woke up this morning going "Nooo I don't wanna wake uuuup..." then remembered "Oooh, I got my groupies with me... nyahaha!" So got up, had my normal dizzy spells and freaking headache and went to bathe.

Went off to take a bus and this woman in front of me just had to use ointment and put it all over her and I FREAKING hate the smell of ointments. I took out my Star Trek book and began sniffing it. I love the smell of books but hate ointments. Weird right? So what.

Began sleeping and when I woke up, I had a crick in my neck and I was like "What the F-ck... I'm dizzy, have a headache thanks to Ointment Woman and now a crick in my neck. I start my day with an Adventure, yippee..."

Got to school early, My Slut called me and asked where I am. Should have not answered that call. Anyways, when we met, We began talking and I just HAD to ask about the boxes for class and Nicol realizes that she had forgotten to bring her paint and boxes. I had to tag along with her to her house and then back to school. On the way back, saw LADY GUHGUH on the magazine and I went like "BLUEEEEK!!" Yes, I hate Lady DADA... Btw Nikey, your house may be near... IT'S STILL FREAKING FAR!!!

Anyways , we were almost late for class (Thanks Nicol) and we met Halle Berry there. Halle Berry is Sabarina. Name too long. We 'christened' her name to be 'shorter'. Anyways, we realized that three of our Da Baambuzels are not there yet and we were like "Uh-Oh..." Ryan, or also known as Tim Gunn, has his temper and so does Stud Bitch, Azri. I don't know about Hiro Nakamura though, Eimran.

So when they were stuck outside (The Lecturer just had to show her "I'm in Charge! You will respect My Authority!" and began locking the door) Slut, Halle Berry and I began on our drawings and colorings. When they manage to get back into class, Tim Gunn was in his "I'm pissed!" mood, so we left him alone.

Okay one thing about me you all should know is... I hate it when teachers start nagging. And I hate it EVEN MORE when people retort back to the teachers and start making them nag EVEN MORE. I'll do this when such things happen. Take out my earpiece, listen to songs, headbang to the beat. So expect no help from me when such things happen. Sorry guys, it's the truth. You should know this before such things happen. Hehehehee...

So we went to lunch, Slut went off with her friends for some Mosquito Killing also known as Smoking and I had an embarrassment when RYAN said that one of my friends was there and I began waving like a nuthead and it turns out to be someone else and I began apologizing like hell to that girl. Sorry ya! I wasn't gossiping about you! Had our lunch, guys were staring and whistling... hate it when people whistle. I have this habit of whenever I'm with someone beautiful or skinnier than me and guys began whistling, I'll do that dumb blur sotong look and do nothing. Coz I know, it's not for me. Hehe...

Lunch was with my group and there's this extra terrestrial being named Jafar who kept tagging along with us even though we did not want him around. I know it sounds mean and cruel but trust me, when you are in our class and know him for A DAY, You will understand why. I don't mind talking to him per normal but he seemed so pervertic and kept coming closer to girls and excuse himself by "not being able to hear what we are saying." For those who know me, You know how LOUD I am. So if you can't HEAR me... You have HEARING PROBLEMS.

Went to class, did still life. My drawing turns out to be floating. You know... too high until I can't see the top much. Hahaha! Slut had her drawing done and she had a log in the middle of her drawing. I'm like "O.... kay! *thumbs up*" hehehehheee... Stud bitch drawing was very... still. While Ryans' drawing was... no comment. But Nice! All of you at least can draw. Which is a good thing. I didn't see Hiros' and Halle Berrys' one... Was busy going about. Kekekekeke!!

Had another break and we had this tiny cam-whoring time and went nuts with the photo taking. It was fun because I knew my only 'nice' pose was the Slutty look... hehee... But when the rest commented on it, I couldn't help laughing. Coz it's a fact and I like to laugh at myself and my antics. It's weird but fun.

Went back to class, had a little fun time by going around and all that. Slut's weak spot is between her shoulders. We just have to massage her shoulder and she will begin giggling like shit. Hiro's weak spot is his neck. Halle Berry.... have not yet discovered. Azris' weak spot is his sides. I think...

Anyways, went back home, greeted the Security Guy, who is suuuuch a great sport, and began towards the bus stop. Stud Bitch, Hiro and Slut went the opposite direction while Tim Gunn, Halle Berry and I went to the other. Tim Gunn went off first, then Hidayah, a classmate, went off and then I took a bus with Halle Berry. We began talking and reached Bedok where we separated and I took my usual buss. Unfortunately, It was a short bus, not a double decker one. I began my sleep on the start of the trip with my earpiece and song intact.

Halfway through, this girl sat beside me and began talking to her boyfriend behind her and begane NUDGING ME. I glared at her but she gave me her sotong look. THEN she began eating chips and her elbow kept nudging me. I glared again and made a show of turning my body towards the window, took almost all the space and began tsking. So what if you have a boyfriend, sia?? Want to die? I'll throw you out the moving vehicle and make it look like accident, do you want that?

Reached home, bought waffles for my dad and myself... got home, began bathing and did my homework. The coloring, not the thumbnails. Lazy ah to do that one. After that, I turn the comp on and here I am. I may not admit it aloud but I like seeing stuffs I did be appreciated. Even the little ones. Like when Dad took the waffle I bought and began eating it or even helping out with stuffs. Just a simple Thank You or anything will make me happy.

Hmm, I guess that is all for today. Will return for more tomorrow. This is Fina Beyonce Ho and you are watching Paranoia.

SHOOO!!~~~~